A little bit of respect

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Hey Lovelies,

You may remember at the end of January myself and 4 other ladies shared the dress we all have in a post we called "Simply Perfect for Every Size" Simply Be then made the below collage and posted on their Face Book page with links to our blogs.

We did not ask Simply Be to post this or ask us if we minded (I don't and i'm sure the others don't either)

At the time of writing this there is 122 comments on this photo. I haven't commented on it as I can't face all the notifications, but wanted to post my own reply.

The comments start off nice but then a few people have posted comments such as not flattering, it looks ok cos they are stood up but it won't be flattering when they sit down, it's awful not even my nan would wear.

A few people that some of us know / have met posted amazing responses to the comments but then in my opinion the thread gets silly and It makes me wish Simply Be hadn't bothered posting.

I've been mulling things over and i'd like to know some answers from these people who say it's not flattering, or a horrible dress, or ask why we posted our photo's if we didn't want "constructive criticism"

Would you go up to someone in the street and say that dress isn't flattering? would you get into a blazing row with someone in the street with someone you don't know over a dress someone you don't know is wearing?

My response to some of these people, is we all bought the dress because we loved it, we all tried the dress on before we bought it and we all loved it. This is the reason we bought it.

Flattering or not it was our choice to buy and wear the dress, simply be did not ask us to buy the dress, gift the dress to us or ask us to review / post the blogs. we did it because we liked the dress.

Also how can you say the dress is flattering or not from one photo? have any of these people seen us in real life? how do they know if this dress is any more or less flattering than anything else we wear.

None of us have any issues or illusions that we are anything other than Fat, we do not think we are a size 12 nor are we dressing like we are.

We are dressing for us.

For a long time i have had body issues, i have been on every diet going with varying degree's of success but right now i am trying to work out who i am and with that i am not trying to lose weight. I am trying to like myself. I do not need or want random strangers telling me what to wear or not to wear.

I we didn't write the original post as an advert for simply be and we certainly aren't asking people to go and buy the dress if they don't like it.

Now these comments i don't care if you think its not flattering as i think it is flattering (i really don't care it you think its not)

The draping of the dress and the knot at the waist gives me the illusions of curves (i hate the word), some of the comments said this dress needs to have a V neck, well i've got small boobs (compared with my hips) so i like the high neck. This dress makes my boobs look bigger and if it had a V neck it would ruin the shape of the dress. This dress also skims the stomach and doesn't cling. to the underside of my stomach like some dresses do.

Others also comments they classed themselves as curvy and people shouldn't use the word Fat, well i'm fat. There is no way i'd ever call myself curvy. please feel free to describe yourself however you feel.

It seems like facebook is a place were (which word to use?) lets use plus size as this seems to mean anyone over a size 12, feel they can get into an argument with other people they don't know over a dress. Its a dress!!!!

Its a dress from what classes itself as a plus size shop, it has a high neck and a paisley pattern. You like it you buy it, you don't like it you don't buy it.

If you see me wearing the dress and you think i look nice say so, if you think i look awful please do me a favour and bitch about me behind my back as i really don't have time to hear it.

I like this dress, i feel good in this dress, i will wear this dress in the future.

I also think my friends look amazing in this dress

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  1. You're so right about all of this. To be honest, the in's and out's of whether it was to their taste, their judgements of the shape and cut of the dress, their opinions as to whether it was 'flattering' or not, are pretty irrelevant...to me at least.

    What bothered me the most about the whole saga was that people thought so much of themselves that they thought it was ok for them to publicly share any negative opinions they had. As you quite rightly said, I'm sure they wouldn't have walked up to a stranger in the street and been so bold about it. People very quickly forgot that the you and the other women in that collage actually exist.

    To be honest, whoever organises that Simply Be page has seriously gone down in my estimations. To have put *your* pics up there in order to advertise their products, without you permission, and then stand back as all that was going on was more than cheeky and irresponsible in my book.

    1. I agree, and there were some comments that were what i can only read as a private joke aka dig at fat people that i didn't get but didn't think it was needed on there.

      I have met the person who was running the twitter and FB not sure if it's still the same one and she was really lovely. I would have like to be asked or at least told they were going to post the picture before hand but i guess we wouldn't have stopped them and I for one would never have expected the number of comments or the strength of feeling for 5 girls blogging a picture of themselves in a dress they bought themselves cos they love it and feel good in.


  2. Amen & for the record you look fucking fabulous! X

    1. Thanks. I felt in need of a rant but couldn't face the fb notifications.

  3. Totally agree with everything you said. The Simply Be thread got ridiculous. I have seen other bloggers have outfit pics posted onto that FB page and they have been given the same response. Hanna got some terrible comments from an outfit she wore. Some women are so nasty to other women and it's getting worse too. It's time we all pulled together and supported each other not bitch at other women who are confident in their own skin!!

    1. It seems to be the same on most of the clothing fb pages not aure if I'm thinking of the same on but I've seen comments where people have told other people to fake tan and other back handed complements/swipes.

      If it waa one of my friend's wearing something they looked bad in I'd generally tell them I didn't like the outfit, but a strangwr I'd never met I'd always be diplomatic or not make a comment.

      I think a lot of it is people's own insecurities creeping out, and transferring it to others. Forgetting we are real people amd like Gail says not a faceless company
      Plus there is aways fb to hide behind xxx

  4. I didn't go to the Facebook page to look at the comments because I know I would've got irate. However I have seen this thing before (not necessarily on the Simply Be page, it seems to be quite the done thing on plus size retailers pages) which is how I came across Hanna's blog. I was so angry I made a point of going to Hanna's blog and telling her she looked fab.

    I don't get this 'class' of people (an underclass is a better way to put it!) who think just because they have a controversial opinion that they HAVE to share it. If I didn't like something someone was wearing I'd never think of telling them. Personal taste is just that - PERSONAL! No one has a right to poke their oar in. Sadly there are a lot of people out there who aren't happy unless they're pissing someone off. I say f*ck the lot of them! Wear what you want to wear when you want to wear it! Grrrrrrr. This is exactly why I didn't go look at the comments. I'd have ended up in a keyboard fist fight! xx

  5. I'm not familiar with the Simply B Facebook page and have only bought from them once... I do think that some people ate only on Feb to put others down. Like you I am trying to like me for me. Chub and all :-) If people have nothing better to dfo than judge others - firstly, how nice for them to be perfect (they must be right?) But just let them get on with it and let karma deal with them, spewing poison like that must be doing wonders for them.


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