Seeing Spots

I did go back and get the rest of the colours, I'm planning on using them in my planner and day to day diary.

I've now got eight of them, mainly because it was two for £1 and the original pink one I got the ink is a bit weak / pale. I think it might just be a bad one as the rest are fairly good colours and I'm not bothered enough to take it back.


As an example this is a note I wrote in my diary this morning with the orange pen.


About 4 hours later I rubbed out the bottom line, I did this quickly and not carefully and as you can see it's pretty much all gone. I think you can see a little bit towards the very end but as I said I did it quickly and not carefully.

The paper is fine and not damaged and I easily re-wrote back over it and the pen worked fine no issue writing over it.

I have to say I'm very impressed with them and they are a bargain price as well. I've googled them and they are retailing at about £2.35 with and RRP of £2.65 RRP.

I think the only colour I'm missing is black and I will be looking out for it as it would be interesting to see if the black ink erases just as well.

What pens are you loving at the moment?

Apologies for the picture quality, It's on my list to retake the picture. This is a product I picked up ina duty free set a couple if years ago. I do like it but it's one I use a few times then put to one side. I really like the grey side and never knew what to do with the pink side but now I know I can use it as a shadow base or similar. I always thought of it as waterline shade but I don't like doing that and I don't think that's what it's intended purpose is. I think each side and two or three more sharpens left in it and I'm confident I can finish this by June.

Essence Stays No Matter What Shadow Stick in 01 Whipped White Frosting 


I have another one of these pencils in my Finish 16 in 16 challenge and I've really been enjoying it. I have always regretted buying this one as I felt it was too pale but now I'm quite pale I feel it will work better and now I have a better idea of how to use it I think I will be able to use a good portion of it.

Fearne Chubby Lipstick (No idea of the real name for this product)


My gut feeling is that this will be in the declutter pile, if I'm honest. It made it through my cull at the start of the year but like 90% of the lip products I own, I never reach for it. It's very similar to a lot of products I own and it was a sales bargain or a Christmas present from a couple of years ago. With all my challenges for the rest of the year I want to include a lip product to see how I feel about out. I do have a few in my yearly pan challenge and don't want to not use them but I feel like I need to be using a bit of everything that I own and this will give me a chance. My expectation for this is to wear it flat and not get much further than that.


Etre Belle Lipift Peel 


This came in a beauty box and initially I did use it quite a bit then it got put away and I haven't used it in months. I'm going to leave this by my bed and try and remember to use it before bed a few times a week. I'd like to use around half of it by June.

don#t knwo the brand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I'm so bad at remembering to use body moisturiser, I had one in a challenge at the end of last year and I got into a good habit of using it and went through a couple of these. This was the next one on this list to use. The challenge ended and I've not moisturised since!

I like this pot as it came safety sealed and the lid is a flip top one which really appeals to me that I won't have to grapple with a screw thread when my hands are greasy.

Soap & Glory Heel Genius


My feet are hideous, I suffer from dry skin on them always yet I never do anything about them till it's too late. My feet are starting to feel dry and I've decided I need to try and take preventative measures. I have a holiday in October and I don't want it to get to September and suddenly think shit why wasn't I doing something about it all year.

V05 Smoothly Does It


I'm a bit ashamed of how many hair products I own and don't use. I think I need to start doing haircare pan challenges (and hair bobble ones!)

I've had a while. I did use it regularly for a time then I tidied it away. I'd like to get through half of what's left.

Percy & Reed Hair Mousse 


I've used one of these before and like it, while I own a lot of hair products I very rarely use any so I thought I'd include it. I feel like it's small enough to use it all by June. This should probably be in the sample challenge but I have plenty of things for that challenge.

Neal's Yard Beauty Balm


Another one that should really be in the sample challenge. I love this product. I've had a full size one of these before and I feel like I can use all of this by June.

Elizabeth Grant Supreme Serum


Another beauty box product. I love this product it has a high retail value which makes me save it for best but I need to remember products goes off and it would be a shame to waste it. This is fairly full so I'm just going for consistent use. I also have no real way of measuring how well I'm doing with this.

This is going to be a bit of a ramble so please bare with me or please feel free to leave now.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post but I'm one to bottle things up and then just blurt it all out so this is my blurt.

I haven't been blogging as much, mainly as I haven't been finding the time. I'm so busy at work I'm too tired when I get home. I used to blog for the week over the weekend but now I use that time to record videos for my YouTube channel which I'm really enjoying but it takes time to edit videos. I only do quick basic edits which I'm fine with but I feel like It's taken me away from blogging.

I have alway's felt like a bit of a pretender calling myself a plus size blogger and I feel I flit around the outskirts not belonging to the in or out crowd. Not really belonging at all. I feel like while I have made friends I don't have a blogging best friend and I'm not sure I want one. I think part of how I am is because I'm an only child and I don't really know how to behave in polite society. I don't know how to make small talk, I talk about myself far too much and forget to ask people questions about them. It's not that I'm not interested and I'd much rather listen to them than listen to myself drone on and on. I Just forget or feel like i'm being rude asking them something. A skill I need to learn.

Being a bit of an anomaly in my own mind. I still haven't found my place in this world either online or in real life. I feel like a bob about being that annoying one, who hasn't heard and keeps repeating herself as I want to know but can't seem to open my ears enough to listen.

I'm a bit of a know it all and retain facts and have answers for everything but often people ignore what I say and ask other people who don't know. Then I get annoyed as they asked me I answered correctly then they asked other people who told them wrong and that's what they see as true.

example:

Person 1  "Steph, what colour is the sky today?"
Me "Hello Person 1, they sky is blue"
Person 1. " ah ok, errrr person 2 what colour is the sky?"
Person 2. "hello P1, the sky is holographic electric unicorn poo colour"
Person 1 for ever more " the sky is holographic electric unicorn poo colour"
Me *sigh* "OOooooookay" ***Remind me not to answer ever again.

I also don't feel like I'm a valid person, I'm a fat person who is fairly happy but wants to lose some weight. I feel like I'm constantly bombarded with people who are fighting for the right to be fat and happy (yay - this is great) But making me feel invalid for wanting to do something, you want people to stop posting about diets, well stop posting that people on diets are bad. I make you feel bad, well listen hear you're not exactly making me feel great either. I've shut myself off from a lot of the PS blogger groups as I feel like I'm in the wrong for wanting to do this. BUT I'm not asking anyone to do this with me. I'm not saying fat is bad. I'm saying that right know I hate myself and for all the body positivity in the world that everyone is posting. It is not making me feel better about myself. I would happily wear a bikini on the beach right now at this size and at a bigger size. I'm also not saying you're wrong for what you're doing. What I am saying is there is two sides to every coin and for all the trigger warnings in the world you need to have some consideration on both sides.

This isn't aimed at anyone person. It's a range of peopl, most I don't know or have ever met IRL. It's post's I've read or tweets that have been retweeted or even just a simple old meme.

I'm fat, i'm semi happy, I don't give a shit if something is flattering or not. I cringe at the word but I am so unhappy with myself right now and the more I read body positive blogs the more I feel shit about myself.

I get a lot of wedding type spam emails and they make me feel miserable, I'm the forever single girl and when wedding fever sets in I feel shit. All the things that make ordinary people happy make me feel crap, lots of things that make other people feel crap make me feel happy.

I wish I knew what my path was in this world as I really do feel like I've take one too many wrong turn and I'm still at the beginning and I'm about to spit my dummy and take my ball home.

I guess what all this comes down to is, is blogging right for me? Do I stop, do I remove myself from blogging groups and consentrate on the Youtube side of things? Do I take myself of the internet all together? (never going to happen)

I love blogging and i've been doing if for about 10 years but is it the forum for me? I don't think I've posted anything i'm all that proud of in ages (the SW blogs don't count as they are more of a diary that I don't know where to put)

Everytime I decide to stop I miss it, so maybe I d want to carry on? I really don't know. Could this be hormones talking?

Does anyone have any answers?

Where did January 2016 go? Has anyone seen it about? I already am one of those people who says times is flying by but it doesn't seem two mins since I was going to bed at 9pm on NYE 2016 and here we are in the last weekend of January 2016 as I write this. It may already be February by the time I publish this. (Or almost March as I've just found it my my drafts!)

If you've followed me for a while you will know I have an unconditional love for spreadsheets. Last year I used one as an editoral calendar and I had a spreadsheet where I recorded stats whenever I remembered to. (I don't really look at it other to remind myself how far I've come in a year - I may share some snipits if I get round to it)

I haven't set up an editorial calendar this year, I think it will less of a structure to this years blog posts. Posting when I have time, with what ever content I fancy. The only planned in post is my slimming world posts on Wednesdays. This might all change as you know I like to get myself organised. Sadly I spend so much time planning, I don't have time to post.

I've digressed, my love of spreadsheets has been extended to include one for monthly favourites. So I can keep track of things I've liked. Its all very well doing favourites posts but in 2015 I planned 12 and wrote maybe 2, I think I vlogged one and made me making a 2015 over all favourites post impossible, so much so I haven't bothered.

So while I'm updating my spreadsheet I will share with you my January 2016 Favourites

• Makeup - Essense Black Kajal Pencil for tight lining, I've been using these for year but until quite recently I've only ever lined my lower lash line but I really love how this looks when you tight line with it. 
• Beauty Product - Essie Nail treatments. I bought both of these last year but hardly used them. One of my goals this year is too look after my nails and decided to dig these two out. My nails seem to be in fairly reasonable condition and do feel fairly strong. 
• Hair product - Alberto Balsam Argan Oil Shampoo & Conditioner. The scent of these products has to be one of my all time favourite. I also really love how they make my hair feel and look.
• Fashion item - Ecco Boots. They may not be the most stylish shoe I've ever owned but they are the comfiest. I've barely had them off my feet since I bought them. I've even worn them to work with a dress, 
• TV Series - Bones New Series. I'm only 2 episodes in but I do love this show and I will be very sad to see it end. 
• Book The Versions of Us - Laura Barnet 3.5*. I only managed to read one full book in January and I read it in one day. It was good but confusing. It's billed as Sliding Doors meets something else and it does have that sort of feel about it but there are more than 2 versions and some times more than one view point. I felt I needed to read it quickly to keep it all straight in my head but found myself constantly flicking back through past chapters to work out what was happening. I think it's well worth a read but it might need 2 or three read through's.   
• Food - SW Friendly Pizza. I have promised to keep SW talk to a minimum but I think the best thing I've eaten all month is a home made pizza which is SW friendly (Uses syns and healthy extra's) it's made from a Warburtons Wholemeal Square Wrap, Mozzarella cheese, misc veg and ham toppings. Better than the pizza express pizza I had just before Christmas IMO. 
• Drink - Orange,Pineapple and  Lemon Cordial. This isn't something I'd ever normally buy but over Christmas I got a taste for it and now I can't stop buying it. I think it's a tesco own brand one and it is in the double concentrate. I think it is the only Double concentrate that I only need a dash. 
• Misc -  In other news that might not be important, but I might want reminding of at some point in the future. I had my hair cut. I took the plunge and went shorter. After 2 years of growing my hair, I thought why am I growing it? All I ever do is scrape it back, JUST CUT IT OFF. In other not so great news I had a chest infection which floored me for well over a week. 
• Holidays / Weekends Away - January and already two mini breaks one to Liverpool & the other to Harrogate. 
• Fails / Dislikes - My chest infection and my whole family being ill with colds and chest infections 

Lets not even talk about this one! I think I should just declutter it!!!

You can watch my Youtube video on these products as well. 

1) About the book

The book starts in 1958 when two 19 year Oxford University students cross paths following a bicycle accident. The book looks at three different versions of what if's?

2) What did you like about the book?

I liked the idea of seeing the different possibilities bases on events at a fixed point in time. I also liked how the characters developed in each versions of events. How past experiences shaped their futures.

3) What did you dislike about the book?

I disliked how confusing it was. There were a large number of people and names to try and keep track of. I was continuously flicking back to the last chapter of the particular version I was reading to recap. I couldn't imagine reading this on a kindle. I think I would have had to keep notes.

4) Round up

This book was interesting, if not confusing. There are three versions of how an event turned out. it was billed as one day meets sliding doors. I'm not entirely sure I'd agree with this description. It certainly has elements of sliding doors to it but as there are 3 versions it was more confusing and as well a three versions it was told from two perspectives which made it like there was 6 versions.

As I was reading it I felt like it needed my full concentration and I was constantly referring back to precious chapters.

I think the price is a little bit more than buying direct from Bomb Cosmetics but I was happy to pay any extra to be able to buy them there and then and not having to order online.

All of these smelt lovely and I really enjoyed using them. I especially liked the names.

Bombjamen Button really tickled me and and did laugh out loud every time I read the name.

The two Christmas themed ones where very nice, I don't enjoy overly spiced smells but these smelt very fresh and they are all quite moisturing which I really liked.

I really need another trip to Housing Units to stock back up. I feel like I may have missed out on some good ones as I went to a stand with what I thought were all the Bomb Products but as I was leaving the store I dotted a few around different displays so next time I need to explore the store a little bit more.