School Memories Anxiety

Monday, September 07, 2020

 Over the weekend I got an invite to a group about my old high school.

Initially I didn't see the invite but then posts stated appearing in my news feed and my anxiety levels shot through the roof.

I didn't enjoy school. I was bullied in parts. I got things twisted back and I got in trouble for being a  bully by the people who were bullying me. Even with the zero tolerance policy nothing was ever done to me or them.

Like a lot of schools it had its troubles. Shit went down that no one should be part of. 

There were lots of fun times. Lots of strange times. 

This group seems to be full of "remember so and so who was a horrible teacher". "Remember how x year (err the one I was in) was the only year in the history the school not to be allowed a leavers do." 

Remember when we all got drunk (I did but not with the people who are posting!)

I've looking  back at old photos but to my horror one of the first posts in my forms year 7 photo and my year 11 year photo.

I don't know why its dragged up some shit I didn't know that I didn't want dragging up.

I'm kind of glad the actual school itself no longer exists

 Long after I left. It metered with another school. Got  rebrand and a brand new school was built quite far away from the two original school sites. 

Until this group was created I was only in contact with 4 people from school and even then only one is really in my friendship group and I'd say I see in a regular basis but I don't even know the last time I saw her. February? I mean covid has scuppered at least 2 meet ups.

What I need to do is delete the group invite, see if I can block the group but there is something stopping me doing this.

I need to see what's been posted even if it gives me palpitations. 

Have you ever had this. I wasnt even that memorable at school and I think part of my anxiety is because it's people who were my year group who are most active. 

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